With so many guides on etiquette and formality, it can be confusing to know how exactly to address your wedding invitations and save the dates.
I try to keep it simple, but also provide you the information you need so that you don't make an embarrassing mistake or accidentally invite children when you didn't intend to.
Let's make a distinction between the most formal and traditional etiquette vs. a casual affair. A good rule of thumb is to follow the style of your wedding - a formal traditional wedding would have an invitation and addressing to match.
Traditional and Formal
Here's where titles, order, and names matter!
Most formal and "proper"
Mr. and Mrs. Truman Anderson
However some don't like that the women's name is left off. In that case:
Mrs. Emily and Mr. Truman Anderson
If one is a Doctor or Reverend, the title comes first:
Dr. Emily and Mr. Truman Anderson
If they are both doctors:
The Drs. Anderson
if Emily has a different last name:
Mrs. Emily Reynolds and Mr. Truman Anderson
Kids
If kids are invited, their name would go on the invitations under their parents names:
Mrs. Emily Reynolds and Mr. Truman Anderson
Thalia and Joshua
If you don't want kids at the wedding, it is common knowledge that if they aren't on the envelope, they aren't invited! However, this isn't fool proof. You may want to place some information on your website about this, penned in a kind way, and/or provide childcare options or suggestions. Another way to handle this is to pencil in the amount of people that have been invited on the RSVP card: ___ seats have been reserved in your honor. In this case, you'd pencil in 2.
Since we're going formal, you can place Miss and Master in front of any kids' names under 18 on the envelope. If they are over 18, they get their own invite!
Guests
If you're inviting a plus one for singles, this is the place to indicate that, on both the save the date and invite. Remember to keep it consistent.
Your single friend, sibling, etc.
Mr. John Thomas and Guest
The Address Itself
In formal cases, abbreviations are spelled out: St. becomes Street, CA becomes California, etc.
There's more!
Unmarried or divorced women typically go by Ms.
Widowed women may prefer to keep the Mrs., so it's good to ask. Your grandmother may not prefer a Ms. in front of her name!
Same sex couples: Usual rule of thumb is to list the person you know the best, first. Keeping the titles as above, or casual as below.
Wondering what an inner envelope is and if you need one? There are different rules for that!
Modern and Casual
I chose this route for my own wedding invitations; I didn't care for formality, was hosting the wedding myself, so I addressed my invitations (by hand with a friend's help) by what I called them. It felt strange to me at the time to use titles. Do whatever you're comfortable with!
Emily and Truman Anderson
(woman always coming first)
If kids are invited, their name would go on the invitations under their parents names
Emily and Truman Anderson
Thalia and Joshua
The Address itself
you can choose to spell out or abbreviate the street and state here
These tips are meant to inform you. As always, choose to follow them if only if they make sense for you and your wedding. View our collection of Semi-Custom Wedding Invitations here!
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